Living Life in Reverse

The last few months have brought me plenty of news and an epiphany.

Friends and acquaintances are getting new jobs, quitting old ones for new ones, quitting old ones for restlessness or starting their own businesses or moving things to the next level.

Former proteges are growing up and proving it.

Almost everyone I know from my circle is switching jobs, cities or countries; some moving closer to their dreams, others entrenching themselves in sinful living.

Summing up, everyone is moving forward.

I, on the other hand, seem to be living life in reverse.

When I was four years old, I was gripped by an existential question, Who am I? I would ask this question to everyone I met. People would point to their bodies, their hearts, their heads and I would drive them up the wall by saying, but that’s your body, who are you?
Now, at this age, I have almost started feeling as if a man is what bags & shoes & make up he / she uses.

As an eighteen year-old, I religiously attended classes and saw myself in NASA as an outstanding scientist. As a professional these days, I giggle, make jokes & dream myself in exotic vacation places.

Moving up in life? I quit a fabulous consulting job to become an over worked banker in a second grade bank (I am not kidding, I mean it !) as I thought it was a great move.

From Dom Perignon to two-buck chucks has been a lovely ride indeed! Almost as much fun as my weight loss !

Till I was 16, I used to keep my hair really really tied up. I thought open hair was a sign of bondage, of submission to tradition, of conformity to male ideals of beauty.

My subversive streak did not last too long. Two pairs of shoes in one month. I now drool, literally drool to look a hot babe. Why am I becoming shallower with every passing minute?

At 13 I had read Maxim Gorky’s Mother twice and knew Russian revolution like the back of my hand. Now, I know the Russians and Americans but stay away from any revolution unless its in fashion or makeup area.

Is Delhi to blame? If so, Soon, I might evaporate into nothingness.

At times I wonder, are you allotted just a certain measure of maturity? What if I used it all up as an annoying over-smart kid? Do I resign myself to a lifetime of finding joy in bubble wrap, silly crushes and chocolate cookies?

My current weight status

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been struggling with my weight for almost past year and a bit more.
I have been working out since November 2008 but I did take a lot of breaks in between but those breaks only made me eat more to cover the times when I was working out. So, effectively I worked out for an year.

In this work out year I lost 22 kg from the 102 that I had accumulated. It was not easy. For a person like me who loves not exercising it was a great effort. It was an even greater effort on my trainer's side who continuously kept working with me on this marathon effort. I need to loose another 14 kgs to be good according to my bone weight.

When we began, I had trouble walking even 500mts in one go.

My trainer for the first week took me round the park for 2 kms of walk each day just to get my rusted muscles going. It was grueling to say the least.

In week 3, we went to start skipping and small jumps and crunches.

Week 5, she started me on basic aerobics and lesser weights of about 2 pounds.

I was completely immobile after my work outs for the first 5 weeks. I would just reach my office and plonk on the chair and even bio breaks were a living hell. My whole body ached in places I did not know I had. I had lumps in chest, cramps in calf muscles and killer pain in my shoulders. To say the least, I was in living hell. Only one thing kept me going and that was that I knew there were very high bets against my loosing weight. Everyone I know of, thought and believed that I was on one of my whims and it would be hardly any time before I would quit. My trainer says when she began with me, she was v sure I would not be able to keep up looking at my raging fitness level :)

She had prayed to God that if I am unable to cope, I should say No to her by myself instead of her telling me that she will be unable to make me loose any weight.

All I can say is that it took every little effort on my side and hers to continue the hard work. At the end of 2 months, I was 7 kgs lighter and looking loads better. It was a terrific triumph.

I continued on with the work out but the weight loss then got slower and slower. I started deviating from healthy eating and good eating habits. Since I was paying by the class, I started taking breaks and very frequent ones. There came a time when my trainer told me in May 2009 that we should take a break from the work out as she was not happy with me.
That same evening, I went though a totally unexpected break up. I thought he and me were going well and we were heading somewhere when his parents declined his marrying me. I know it is not a known phenomenon to the western readers but in India, parents play a vital role in marriages. I was devastated. Utterly and completely. It was like two of the biggest life supports had fallen off.

I did what any sane person would do and convinced my trainer to persevere with me. I had to privy her to my state of affairs, no other way. We did keep at working out though with long gaps of 4 - 5 days in between but just did not let go of the work out completely.
In January, February 2010 we took a complete break as my trainer was traveling to Australia for pleasure. We got back in serious business from 1st March 2010 and have done intense workouts these 4 months.

The problem is now my weight has got stuck, what should I do ? Are there any ways to get over the weight loss plateaus ? Any diet I should follow (I am a vegetarian) ? Anything that I should do, do please let me know...... I am at my wit's end and need your help...

Weight Loss

For past year or more, I have been making a consistent effort to loose weight and live a much more healthy life.
It has not been an easy task. I weighed a whopping 102 Kilo grams and was just not physically active. The house help system in India coupled with a very hectic work life ensured my complete lack of good health.

It all changed one day when I was in Tokyo for a week on business and was going through the snaps a colleague had taken of me.
I looked huge, almost obese and really unfit !
I was very concerned but I am very good at stubbing out inner voices. I put the inner voice down and went on with life as normal.

It was when I was in Singapore with my youngest sister for a business cum pleasure trip, I realized that I was getting grossly tired just crossing the road and had to continuously sit myself down for either a drink or a nibble every 15 mts. That was a real eye opener. I knew I just had to do something or my heart will collapse of over pumping.
I looked ghastly in all my pictures. It was a washed out, tired an significantly unhappy self that I saw in them.

I got back and took ages to think what I can do. Someone suggested diet centers. Others suggested Ayurveda centers where they put you on fresh lemon and warm water only for 15 days and you end up loosing weight. I did not want to go the easy way out i.e. cutting on food and eventually loosing all muscle mass and charm.

A family friend suggested using "Personal Trainer". It was expensive, way too much but having her meant I would be forced to exercise 5 days a week even if I did not want to. Those were her conditions. She said she would charge me per class and I need to do 5 days a week with her.

I started with her and believe me when I say that it was quite some challenge.
I will be writing of my fitness regime to motivate myself and continue with it. I have lost a decent weight but I need to keep working hard to be where I want to be..

So, be tuned....

Shoot me because I spent whole saturday doing all mindless things and do not regret them !

I was woken very early on Saturday by some one coming over and conveniently forgetting to inform me in advance. Looking at her on opening the door I thought what the hell was she doing at that time !
Since she and I do not stand on ceremony and also the fact that partly she works for me as a house help, I told her to start the big cleaning and that I would be joining her shortly. The "shortly" conveniently became 90 mts before I regained full consciousness to realize I was being a bit rude by falling asleep again but by that time she was all done.
She even had the breakfast ready for me and my friend who was to visit me to spend the day. It was incredible luxury. Getting hired hands in India is no big a deal but getting the one who does everything without much prompting is amazing.

My friend came and we had a lovely breakfast with all the right things which was then followed by a visit to the mall.
It was a burning day right from the day break and malls provide the much needed comfort. You can shop or window shop or eat or socialize in a coffee shop..... all goood. Also, with multiple things to do, you do not feel cramped. If I was at home, looking at the enormous heat, all I would have done was switched on the AC and read a book and minimize my movements to the non-AC parts of the house.
I know, I sound really lazy but any one who has experienced the heat in Delhi and at my hometown knows what I am talking about.
Anyways, getting back to saturday, I also saw A team which was a typical boyish movie and a bit unlike what I normally see but nonetheless felt it was a good change.

Came back home and saw the movie "Where are the Morgans" casting Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker. All through the movie I kept wondering as to what made Hugh Grant do this movie. He had such stupid and irritating actions as well as facial expressions through out that I like shaking him up.
Sarah J Parker was not at all stellar but I could bear her.

All in all, It was a wonderful saturday ... just the way I like it. Not much brain activity involved (as I do enough of that over the working week) and a lot of relaxation involved just the way I like it.
So, here is to a good saturday and hope you all had lovely saturdays as well....

Its a Friday !

I am so happy today........ it is Friday !

I had a relatively good week but its always a pleasure to greet Friday :)

I have a very power packed weekend lined up.... today is my roomy's bday so we have to celebrate... I like b'days ! :)
Evening I will get a hair cut and some pedicure and manicure.

Saturday, I am meeting a friend for a bit of shopping and hopefully catching on A Team followed by dinner with my roomy's parents who will be here for the weekend.

Sunday is a big lunch for my uncle's 50th B'day celebrations and then off course I plan to not work out at all on the weekend and then just laze and chill ! Yayyy !!

All I want is that the heat reduces... its been bloody 47 degrees Celsius this week and that has been killer. I want it to rain.. and then drive in rain :)

All those I know abroad, want all sun and clear skies and we in hotter countries want no sun and lots of rain and no clear skies....

Here is to a good weekend !! Cheeerss !!!

25 Things about Me

Honestly, if I didn't get tagged(on facebook), I would have never got this list together, but now that I have, do admit that it was much fun. A real “awakening”. So here it goes...

1. I am a self confessed Shopaholic! I love to shop any thing and everything ;)

2. Gadgets and perfumes make my legs weak. I have a beautiful collection of perfumes and soon will require an excel listing out all the good gadgets if I can’t manage to buy them.

3. I am fascinated by music. I've scoured all kinds of music from around the globe and spent hours trying to decipher interesting stories around them (from folk songs to ballads to rap to trance to soft melodious numbers). I wish I could sing just as well.

4. I love to read. Infact it’s an obsession more then a passion. I can’t imagine my life without books. I have a collection spanning thousands of books from all genres and they are my solace in grief, in happiness, in sadness and in loneliness. I never feel alone even in a roomful of unknown people with a book in hand.

5. I am an enthusiastic traveler. Europe is my favorite destination and France and Italy are the coveted places to go. Take me, take me, take me……..

6. Contrary to the look I give, I am an extremely shy person. It takes me a lot of efforts and weak knees to go and socialize in formal settings on both professional and personal side but no one would ever guess that looking at me.

7. I am an excellent cook and can come up with great tasting food most times. Each time it happens, I feel like it’s an achievement.

8. I adore and am simply crazy about watches. Watches have a special place in my life. I have 8 watches in all but I could happily do with a dozen more. R people getting a hint ? :)

9. I love long drives with great conversations. Nothing is better then a long drive, an interesting companion and dark roads. The mystique of unknown magic out there on the roads at nights, charms me like nothing else.

10. I am quite religious but not towards any one religion, instead I just love the presence of God in any which way. If I am in Japan, I go to Shinto Shrines, In UK I go to churches and cathedrals and in India, temples and mosques carry similar weightage. I also believe in working towards being spiritual and humane. I believe what goes around does indeed come around.

11. I am crazy about key chains and fridge magnets. Where ever I have visited in the world, I have two key chains from the area.

12. When ever I am hurt or tensed, a good head massage is the key to cure me. Nothing soothes me like a head massage.

13. I am an ardent fan of tea! I absolutely, simply adore “PG Tips” from UK which I have been getting regularly from UK courtesy good friends and am also crazy about Darjeeling tea. So now, all you people out there, you know which teas to get me!

14. Good news, I am easily pleased :) however, if you have managed to hurt me hard, nothing in the world will make me go back to you! There has only been one exception to it till date and there wont be any else!

15. At work, preferred means of communication is hands down emails but I avoid writing to any co-worker sitting at one hand distance to me :)

16. I am not fond of chocolates and sweets except that sometimes they do provide big comfort and people find that extremely odd. Always get the raised eyebrows!!

17. I am a pure “Romantic”. I think love is the key to life because love makes you conquer all the negatives that you would normally scorn at in a person and start accepting those habits as irritating but something you “can” put up with.

18. I am a very simple person at heart. Simple caring coupled with a few flowers; a few small gifts can cheer me like nothing else. I don’t need elaborate gifts pal, I just need you to be there for me. It’s not what you are, but how you are with me that matters.

19. I love babies and children ! Nothing beats holding a cuddly baby in arms.

20. I love to watch movies and being an Indian that may not come off as strange. In this matter I am in the center of the Hollywood as well as Bollywood camp. I am a die hard romantic movie fan. No gross murder and gory details for me please. Action cinema and TNT classics also interest me.

21. I started reading in reverse order. I read Maxim Gorky’s mother in Class VII and went on to read Mills & Boon when I started working J Is my brain depleting?

22. I love dogs !! God, their beautiful, soulful eyes melt me like nothing else. I love all kinds of dogs except Dalmatians. The person who gifts me a golden retriever knows the key to my heart. So folks, I like diamonds and fuss and frill but I do adore dogs!

23. I enjoy sea and sea beaches in all its moods.

24. The only sport that I would pay to watch would be Tennis & FIFA. I agree on the woman's tennis front however, after Steffi Graf left, it's really lost its charm.

25. This could(does) sound crazy! When I put my old purses away, I always leave cash in their pockets and try to forget about it. Later, when I use them and dig into them, viola!! As someone said “There’s nothing more delightful to unexpectedly find some moneys :) small pleasures I say !"

A work interlude

Last year was not one of my stellar years professionally !

I moved bosses with in the current organization and my new boss was a literal pain in the ass. He is very rude, judgmental and lets just say unpleasant in many ways. We never dealt well with each other and would have loved to part ways.

However, at the beginning of this year, he put in an interim level hierarchy and I have done very well with the interim person. Its been relatively fun to work and he has been able to sponge off a lot of my tension with regards to boss.

Me and my boss had decided to part ways in the coming August with me moving to another department; however suddenly last Friday boss offered me a huge multi million dollar project to handle and I could not turn him down.
We are now in the initial phases of the new work and he is being relatively better with me.

I really hope the Good Will continues because I really love my work and would hate to move because of some individual.
Lets see how it all goes...... as "whatever is meant to be ... will be....."

I am here

Finally! Finally! Finally!

I have finally started writing and that too on a blog address I like :)

I am a small town girl from a very education oriented place in Rajasthan, India. I come from a place and family whose motto of life is "Simple living & high thinking".

Like any other person, I have lots of things going on in my life but on the whole, its a very simple life.

I have been very impressed with a few British bloggers and hence the effort......

Don't know how much or how frequent I will post but I want it to be a frequent effort as I love writing.....